Female Emcee Reaches Out with Poetry to Anyone Contemplating Suicide

A boy reached out to Hip-hop newcomer and 19-year-old Native American femcee Angel Haze and revealed plans to kill himself.

Using her gift, she reached back with a spoken word poem that is helping many others including suicide survivors and those who’ve lost loved ones as well.

Teen suicide, the third leading cause of death of teens in the U.S., is only fueled by silence.

Angel Haze’s poem speaks for those who cannot speak for themselves and feel no one understands their pain.

And her message is being spread like wild-fire by her almost cult-like following and fans.

For the kid dealing with bullies at school or at home, the girl that hates herself more than anyone in the world, the boy who is struggling with his sexual identity — “this is for you…”

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Watch Angel Haze Perform “If you’re contemplating suicide…”

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The mp3 for “If You’re Contemplating Suicide” is available for download here and the lyrics are posted below.

Lyrics

If you’re contemplating suicide by Angel Haze

This is for you.

This is for the moments you’re alone with emotion,
so fucking bold they leave you mentally frozen,
cold and alone, heart open and broken,
when that love’s out of sight and your hurt’s in the focus,
when you’re floating in oceans of hopelessness and sulking and misery,
this is for you.

This is for the moments when you feel like they just don’t understand,
they ain’t where I am, they ain’t where I stand,
they’re staring from the outside and judging my in,
they can’t relate to this pain, they don’t feel what I feel,
this is for you.

This is for the moments when your weakness is your cloak
and the people you love most
just beat you to a pulp
when they tell you’re nothing but disgusting and unworthy of the love that you need,
of the heart that you seek,
of the blood that you bleed
when you sliced open your wrists looking for love in its slits but find nothing but self-hate ‘cause nothing exists but all that they’ve spoken,
this is for you.

When the bullies kick you and beat you,
hurt you and leave you laying on the ground like you’re trash,
like you’re only half of their equal,
when they gladly defeat you then laugh to your face,
when you feel all alone,
when you’re so out-of-place,
this is for you.

When your parents are too busy just to sit and fucking listen ‘cause they’ve got other problems,
so it’s either you’re over it or they’re pissed at the truth,
when you’re begging and pleading that they see that you’re hurting,
that they don’t disregard you,
that they know that you’re fragile and don’t purposely harm you,
that when they look at you like you’re the worst thing that’s ever happened in their lives,
like you’re the biggest mistake in their minds,
that they don’t have to say shit ‘cause it shows in their eyes and you want them to know that it hurts you sometimes,
this is for you.

When the girl that you love won’t even look in your direction,
when the guy that you like adds you to his pussy collection,
when you take your pride and throw it away for one night that means nothing just to mean something to someone who will never see you,
this is for you.

When you’re all dressed in black and they whisper and snicker,
when they make you feel like you’re wrong for being so different,
when you try to reform and they judge you regardless,
when you can’t understand why this world is so heartless,
this is for you.

This is for every-fucking-body that knows what it’s like to feel like you ain’t shit but a memory that will never be relived,
that distant fucking shit that everyone forgets,
the words on the tip of tongues that get swallowed with the spit,
when you feel so invisible you’re not even sure that you exist so you cut yourself open just to see if you’re real,
you numb yourself with drugs just to hide what you feel,
you drink to wash the pain in hopes of rejecting it afterwards,
you live every day wishing you could rewind your life backwards because you wanna figure out where the fuck you went wrong,
‘cause, shit, your world ain’t been right for so long.

I know how it feels,
I’ve been there before,
I’ve had my head in my hands and my heart on the floor,
I’ve been worthless and shattered,
I’ve been nothing to people,
I know what it’s like to have to force them to see you.
I know how it feels to swallow some pills and hope that you die or hope that you’re killed.
I know what it’s like to sit and to write the letter that will change everyone’s life,
‘cause I knew in my mind if they didn’t care now,
they would when I was gone, and every-fucking-body would feel what I felt in my bones.
They’d feel the earth shake and rattle from the ground underneath.
They’d view me with grief, they’d give me the peace they could have given to me when I was right in their face.
It’ll take some waking them up,
but I’ll do whatever it takes, they just need to see that I’m something.
I’m some-fucking-body,
I’m a heart, I’m a mind, I’m a soul, I’m a body,
I’m not disposable garbage, I’m not disgusting and wrong, but maybe they’ll see that when I’m finally gone.
But see, I learned the mistake that I made was allowing other people to change the way that I saw myself.
Now I see myself, I see me so fucking clearly I could cry,
everytime I look myself in the eye it’s because I know what you’re going through,
I know who you are.
I’ve traveled that road, I’ve just taken it further,
so this is for you.

If you’re thinking it now,
if you’re wanting to die,
if you’re thinking it out,
you are so much more than you are in this moment,
please don’t give up.
Please stay strong, ‘cause there’s always a rainbow after every storm.
Don’t do what they’re expecting of you.
Don’t let go.
Don’t give up on you.
You’ll never know how great you can be.
Don’t give up on you.
I didn’t give up on me.
I did not give up on me.

About Angel

Described as having “Bars For Days,” the young “sexually open” trendsetter’s newest mixtape ‘Altered Ego’ is available for download at datpiff.com or angelhaze.bandcamp.com .

After listening to the L.A. rapper’s music and reading her features in urbansteez.com and theFader there is no doubt in why her buzz is becoming hard to ignore.

She’s a beast and I can’t wait to see what’s next for her. In two short years, she already has thousands of fans following her career and continues to build her buzz online. Her songs have presently surpassed the 40,000 mark in downloads, and have over 100,000 views on YouTube.

When asked her goal as a musician, she confidently replies, “I want to make people feel connected. I want to tell a story – everybody’s story.”

Listen to more of her music at hotnewhiphop.com/AngelHaze .

Keep up with Angel on Facebook and Twitter at @NativeRaeen and Youtube .

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