Listen: Kelly Rowland Reveals Pain of Abuse in Emotional “Dirty Laundry” [Trigger Warning]

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Kelly Rowland 2013

A raw, emotion-packed Dirty Laundry finally gives us the real Kelly Rowland . The Kelly who is more than a former Destiny’s Child , and whose career has largely fluttered in the shadows of bandmate Beyoncé .

We hear the Kelly who is a survivor of not only a fickle music industry, but a psychologically and physically abusive relationship.

The poignant collaboration with The-Dream delves deep into feelings and pain that the singer was somehow able to hide for years, as she sings, “When you make pain look this good it never wears out.”

She reveals intense feelings of resentment she held for Beyoncé, whose fame soared while Kelly was in turmoil.

“When my sister was on stage / killing it like a motherfucker / I was in a rage / feeling it like a motherfucker,” she sings.

“Forget the records, off the record I was goin’ through some bullshit / Post-‘Survivor,’ she on fire / Who wanna hear my bullshit? / Meanwhile this nigga puttin’ his hands on me…”

While recording the intimate piano ballad, Kelly needed nearly a dozen takes to get her vocals down without crying, and had to leave the room at a recent listening for her label before the song was played.

“Dirty Laundry” simply brings chills, triggering memories as it gets harder and harder to hear.

He hittin’ the window like it was me until it shattered / He pulled me out and said ‘Don’t nobody love you but me / Not your mama / Not your daddy / and especially not Bey.’ / He turned me against my sista / I missed ya”

Though this is the Kelly I’ve been longing to get to know for sometime (more than a sex kitten), I realize the courage it takes to be this honest.

“I had to get past being so upset and actually sing the song, not sob through it,” she told Billboard . “I always hope that my music can inspire someone, the same way other artists inspire me.  Dream said, ‘I want to write you a record so that people will know exactly who you are, underneath it ”

And hopefully there will more be like it — real, brave, relatable tracks on her upcoming fifth studio album Talk a Good Game , out June 18th.

As for the scumbag, it’s rumored to be Kelly’s ex-boyfriend Cuda Love (Nelly’s former manager/bodyguard).

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