The 5 Worst Movies of 2012

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2012's Worst Movies - Total Recall, Battleship, Resident Evil

‘Total Recall,’ ‘Battleship,’ and ‘Resident Evil: Retribution’ among top 5 worst films in 2012

Every year, moviegoers are faced with a plethora of subpar, crappy movies. These movies are a waste of time, money, and are downright painful to watch.

Although the end of the world Mayan prediction didn’t come true, it might as well have as far as these movies are concerned. Here are five of the absolute worst from 2012.

Total Recall

This movie straight up sucks. It’s a pillow posing as an action thriller and as such it’s a real snooze fest.

Paul Verhoven and Arnold Schwarzenegger did this movie right, back in the 1990s, and that’s the golden era it should have stayed in!

It’s awkward to see such a seasoned cast offer up a dismal, dull performance, but it’s safe to say this movie is so bad the only thing you’ll want a Total Recall of is the life you wasted watching it.

Battleship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDMXkPfxjOc&feature=youtu.be

Who knew a movie based on a board game could be so bad? Seriously though, Battleship was a $209 million dollar flop, and the type of film that leaves you scratching your head while asking “really?”

Here’s a quick list of everything that sucks about this movie: the plot, the acting, and the entire movie.

So yeah, it just totally sucks. In fact, Battleship sucks just as much as taxes, and for the same reason no less. You pay for something, and get nothing in return. Don’t see this movie, it’s that simple.

Resident Evil: Retribution

They should have stopped with the first Resident Evil, but they didn’t. The only retribution in this movie is the movie.

A just punishment for those who are too stupid to realize it sucks. The only redeeming quality about this movie is Milla Jovovich>.

Chernobyl Diaries

Is it ironic that this film is horrifyingly awful? Do yourself a favor and never see this movie.

It’s an overall poorly made film, and even poorer still is the taste. Using a real life tragedy as the setting of a horror movie is insulting and offensive, but making a film as bad as Chernobyl Diaries pours salt in the wound.

Piranha 3DD

In this world there are good and bad movies, in hell, there is Piranha 3DD. The first movie Piranha 3D was surprisingly better than it should have been, but this one makes up for that and then some by being a real suck fest.

If you don’t believe me, just pick up a free* copy of Piranha 3DD out of someone’s trash can and give it a go.

If you want to spoon your own eyes out before it’s over, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

*Free is an estimated price, in most cases someone will probably pay you to take it off their hands.




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