This is a guest post written by Latoya August. Follow her on Twitter @PoeticParable.
While listenting to Gary Null‘s 91.5fm show, towards the end of the program, he briefly mentioned the “Cinderella Complex”.
He said, “show me a socially empowered woman; and I’ll show you a threat, because she chooses to control her own passions.”
The “Cinderella Complex” was first described by Colette Dowling who wrote a book on women’s fear of independence as an unconscious desire to be taken care of by others, based primarily on a fear of being independent.
The complex is named after the fairy tale character Cinderella, popularized by the Disney movie of the same name. It is based on the idea of women that the story portrays, as being beautiful, graceful and polite but who cannot be independent characters themselves, and who must be rescued by an outside force, usually a man (e.g. the prince).
As I chuckled nodding my head in agreement, the first word that popped into my mind was opportunist.
A) One who takes advantage of any opportunity to achieve an end, often with no regard for principles or consequences.
B) A person who takes advantage of any circumstance which will help him personally.
Most women will forever be the pawn of an opportunist, as women are driven strictly by emotions.
A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanies by physiological changes. Emotions cloud reason or logic. As the definition sited above “it is a state outside conscious effort”. Due to absence of logic or simplistic comprehension, women — more so than men, like to play tit for tat, aka Checkers. While men, have a strategy/reason for what they do, Chess.
Everyone in life is an opportunist, everyone — some more than others are conniving. Just as everyone has once been a pawn or another person’s victim. We all play a different role/chessman in other people’s strategy.
Empower yourself and recognize your worth. It is your own way of thinking that victimizes you into constantly playing the role of a disillusioned pawn.
Due to your need to be magically rescued, taken care of and pampered by someone other than yourself. You become an easy target.
Please read something other than a “happily ever after” ending. Nothing in life is instantaneously achieved without effort. Life isn’t a fairy tale.
You aren’t going to meet the perfect man that’s going to fall in love with you at first glance, fly you off to the Bahamas’, move you out the “hood,” lavish you with luxuries, leaving everyone around you jealous because they aren’t you!
Aren’t you tired of the same preconceived, recurring dream?
Until you give up this self perpetuated “Cinderella Complex,” the stench of neediness will seep through your pores. You’ll continuously be surpassed by everyone around you.
As you chose to elect being “envied” and “taken care of” as your strategy. For your own sake understand how “life imitates chess.” On that note I will end, how I started:
“Show me a socially empowered woman; and I’ll show you a threat, because she chooses to control her own passions”
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